The Sound of Forehands Clapping

I know I have not been writing about my personal life lately. I’ve been posting links to content and such. I’ve been too busy to write, but I have been wrestling and growing.

When I started the series on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood I said

But that’s not really what interests me the most. You see, both of these views on gender within the church do not simply address the questions of “how do a husband and wife relate?” and “can women be pastors?” Both views offer answers to much, much deeper questions that are relevant to any man or woman whether or not they are married or desiring to be a pastor.

Piper has asked before, “What do you tell your little boy when he asks you, ‘Daddy, what does it mean to grow up and be a man and not a woman?’ or ‘Mommy, what does it mean to grow up and be a woman and not a man?’” Piper has said that if all you can respond with is an anatomical answer, then you are setting your children up for disaster.

Mark and I have taken a bit of a break from reviewing the book and, yes, we need to get back on track, but let me give you an update of where I am at. I am still uncomfortable with drawing lines in stone of what manhood and womanhood is without strong Biblical warrant. I still am not sure how exactly God describes manhood in Scripture or even if he does with the precision that I want, but I am more convinced then ever that it, manhood, masculinity is real.

I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but while reading the article bellow I was fighting back tears. There is a depth of character and honor that the article describes that I long for and by Gods grace I believe I will understand more and posses more. While the article is not purposefully christocentric by any means (oh and I wish it was!), I could not help but feeling the weight of His glory hidden behind it.

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The Irish Calvinist shares some great thoughts on how to exasperate your children:

Yesterday I preached on Colossians 3 and the way in which the new ‘house-table’ is to reflect the new humanity. In the midst of the study I was deeply effected by the danger of exasperating children to the point that they loose heart, as verse 21 says.

By way of application I came up with a list of 12 surefire ways to exasperate your children:

1. Be a hypocrite
2. Be a bully to them
3. Be harsh to them
4. Be Emotionally Distant from them
5. Show Favoritism to Other Kids
6. Have Unrealistic Standards
7. Be Mr Question your kid’s salvation guy
8. Be Mr Assure your kid’s salvation guy
9. Don’t discipline them
10. Discipline them without biblical instruction
11. Don’t teach them the Bible
12. Don’t connect discipline to the gospel

Like many of you I long to do something significant. I want to be a part of something of great importance. I believe that I was created by God for something special. I know that sounds tacky, but I really believe it.

As the years have gone by, my calling has gotten clearer and clearer to me. Its sweetness and my desire to do it have increased in tandem with that clarity. When you know that you know that you know that God has called you to a particular ministry that ministry becomes so desirable.

God has given me an increasingly Godly wife who bears the name of what I am finding in Gods call: Joy. She respects me. She challenges me. My wife loves me. She is also the mother of our children and, contrary to the continuous lies of the enemy, she is a good mother to them!

God has given me four children. Four! Each one is such a lavishly precious gift from God to me. To me! It is so so so easy for me to miss that, but by Gods grace I am seeing and responding to that reality more and more.

Gods calling is that I would lead this household well. It is a calling of extreme importance. One that will have profound effects for the joy of many people and the name of my God.

His calling on my life hasn’t changed in the past 7 years, but my reception and embracing and enjoying of it has.

He is calling you too by the way.

Now, I noticed this thing about how my kids pray a while ago. My kids prayers always begin with the same word: Jesus. Mine, including the ones in front of them almost never begin with “Jesus”. I usually begin with “Heavenly Father” or “Lord” or “God”. Where did they learn this I’ve wondered. I mean, do they just relate to Jesus more because there are pictures of Him in there books, but none of the Father? Did they learn this from Sunday school teachers? I just found it curious.

I came across an answer from John Piper to the question Does it matter which Person of the Trinity we pray to? Piper explains that the normal pattern of the NT (including Jesus’ own teaching) is to pray to the Father in the name of the Son by the power of the Spirit.

You can watch, listen to or read his answer here.

Hadn’t given it to much thought before. While my children aren’t sinning by directing their prayers to Jesus (of course!) I do think it may show some blind spots in their understanding of the Gospel. I want to make sure they are getting that Jesus loved us so so SO much that He came and died for us so that His Father would become our Father!

Good post over at In Light of the Gospel with a bunch of linked resources for starting up family worship. We are haphazardly working through a good childrens book, but I like the idea of scheduling it and connecting it to an evening meal.

His three main steps to start a family worship time are bellow, but check out the complete post for all the details:

1. Plan to have family worship after an evening meal
2. Read through a good book
3. Say the Lord’s prayer after reading the book

HT: Between Two Worlds

I’m what some would call a dreamer. I have a vision of myself doing great things. I’m talking about being a loving and understanding leader to my wife, a compassionate and patient father, an exemplary employee and a wise and trustworthy friend. A man who is above reproach, who stewards his time and energy and money in a exemplary manner.

These are good desires that I see rooted in Scripture. Don’t get me wrong these desires are at times tainted with pride “… imagine what people would think of me then!” but I usually fight that and humility is provided. I know that God has called me to these things and that these are not man made ideas. I know that if He is the one calling me to them then these, and nothing I could come up with, must be the best path for me to joy.

Often though I feel stupid for having these dreams and these hopes. “You’re a failure. You think big but you produce small. You fail, because your heart is wicked. You aren’t fooling God.” I often feel like I am at a fork in the road: path 1) just give up, and path 2) continue pretending that you’re a good Christian.

Sometimes I take path 1 and sometimes I take path 2. Sometimes though something else happens. Gods grace meets me at that fork in the road. He says path 3 Dwayne is through me. Your heart is wicked, but my blood was shed for this and is provided by my spirit to change you. Awake and remember! Give up your strength. Here is mine.

Awhh, the easy yoke is found again!

My family currently attends two small groups: one that we host and one at an elders house.  We have been doing the one at our house for some time (I am horrible with dates, but let’s say 6 months.)  The setup has been pretty much the same from the beginning.  People arrive, we talk, transition into eating, send the kids off to play or watch a movie while the adults spend time working through Scripture and then praying for each other.

When we started going to the group at my elders house (oh let’s say 2 months ago) I asked him what we’d do with the kids.  He said they could play in the backroom or maybe they could play on the other side of the large living room.  I opted for the living for, well, I am not really sure why.  Similar setup as our group: people arrive, we talk and eat some kind of dessert, we tell the kids that we’re going to start the discussion now and so they need to play quite and then we work through Scripture and close with prayer.

The kids adjusted fairly quickly to the idea of playing quietly off to the side.  Seldom are they very disruptive (often they are slightly disruptive though!) and those concerns are usually covered when our pastor inevitably includes thanksgiving for the childrens presence during prayer.

We kept our kids present during this groups study time for no other reason then “why not?” but in retrospect I see some good benefits for my kids:

1) they get to witness the example of mom and dad and other adults discussing the Scriptures and praying for each other.

2) they get to practice self-control and God knows that I know that self-control takes practice…

3) as the years tick by it won’t be too long till I’ll be saying “Hey Liberty I’d like you to sit on the couch for tonights discussion because it’s on what you were asking me earlier this week.” or “Myra do you want to share about that situation so we can pray for it?”  Hopefully being more physically present in the group will make such transitions easier.

Out of that experience and hearing how they do “church services” at a friends local church, we’ve decided it makes the most since for us to stop having our kiddos go to sunday school and start staying during the praying, preaching and singing.  The reasons for this are pretty similar to the list above.

1) they get to witness the example of mom and dad and other adults paying close attention to the teaching of the Scriptures, praying as a local church and singing songs to God.

2) they get to practice self-control (the more the marrier!)

3) I am hoping that as time goes on they’ll start paying a little attention and then some more and then some more to the sermon, the singing and the praying.  I’ve love to see them as they are learning to read to start reading the lyrics and singing along.  I’d love to be able to discuss the teaching each Sunday as a whole family on the way home, or during lunch.

To encourage this I am thinking that each week before Sunday it’d be good to include some family teaching on the upcoming passage and/or memorization of part of it.  I am hoping that maybe, just maybe, when the passage is being preached one or more of the kids will tug at our sleeves and whisper “he’s talking about what we talked about” or “I know that part of the Bible”.

Any how those are just my thoughts.  If you have kids, what do you do with them on Sunday or during a small group?  If your family was a part of a local church when you were growing up how did they handle this?