Is there Biblical Manhood and Womanhood?
I’ve been wrestling with the concept of Biblical manhood and womanhood for some time now. Right now I am not at a place where I can say that I agree with it, but it may simply be semantics. Let me try and explain.
Terms and definitions
The Manhood and Womanhood definitions from Merriam-Webster are very similar. For womanhood it says:
1 a: the state of being a woman b: the distinguishing character or qualities of a woman or of womankind
1a seems similar to saying that a piece of aluminum has entered toasterhood. The aluminum is in the state of being a toaster. In that sense I agree that I posses manhood, but if that is the sense they mean then what is biblical manhood? Believing that it is God who has made me a man? If that’s all it means I agree.
Definition 1b talks about the distinguishing character or qualities of being a woman. These are the characteristics or qualities that distinguish or set a part womanhood from manhood. If we exclude physical characteristics and qualities are we left with any that distinguishes men from women?
Why you?
I asked some friends a while back “Why do you think that God chose for men to lead rather then women?” Their answers were not all that surprising: Men are less emotional, more temperate, they are wiser, men are better decision makers. When I asked where the Bible said that I was met with bewildered looks and shrugs.
God tells all of us in Scripture to strive for certain character attributes, the fruit of the Spirit. We fall short of them because we are sinful. Certainly both men and women are called to be wise as opposed to fools, but were men designed by God to be less effected by sin in this regard? I can’t find anywhere in Scripture that says as much.
Does the Bible say anywhere that men have a designed in edge over women for any fruits of the spirit? Does it reveal this about women?
What I am not saying
Understand that I ask these as a convinced complimentarian. A complimentarian is one who believes that the husband is the head of his home and not his wife and that qualified men are elders and by virtue of the fact that a woman is a woman she is disqualified from eldership.
Egalitarianism holds that the gender of a Christian plays absolutely no part in what function they have in a body. There is no head in the family and being female does not qualify nor disqualify a woman from being an elder in the church. I believe holding the Egalitarian view point requires one to distort numerous sections of Scripture that speak clearly to the place of gender helping to define roles in family and the local church.
Why does this matter?
If I have an underlying, vague assumption that by virtue of me being a man that I am wiser then my wife then how will that effect my relationship with her? When a decision needs to be made and my wife (who is naturally less wise then me of course) is offering her thoughts how much weight will I give to her input?
When my wife says that she thinks I am leading in the wrong direction will I, at least internally, say “Sheesh, poor woman. Does she not know that God made me the leader for a reason… “
On the other hand, what if I don’t have an underlying assumption that I am wiser, etc? Would that effect how I interacted with her and the value that I placed on her thoughts for a given matter?
What I am looking for
Am I misunderstanding the concept of Biblical manhood and womanhood? Is it simply a view towards complimentarian roles (which I agree with) or does it enter into definitions like Merriam-Websters (which I can’t find biblical support for?)
Is there Scripture that speaks of distinguishing characteristics or qualities between men and women that are designed by God into the created order? Are there Scriptures which call men and women to pursue different or distinguishing character attributes?
January 30th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Dwayne,
A couple quick thoughts. Biblically we know that women are “weaker” than men. (1 pet 3:7). I don’t know how they’re weaker, phyiscally, emotionally, other… Point is, we’re told by the Spirit as author of that passage that there is something intrinsically “weaker” about women than men.
Second, drawing on an anecdote that I can’t currently verify, I remember reading at some point that in the Hebrew text of the creation account, the words for “male” and “female” are somehow derived from “piercer” and “pierced.” The point was that while obviously this has to do with the physical attributes of men and women and sex, it also has to do with the man’s role as the “point”. The “piercer” is the one who forges ahead, leads, pierces his way into new territory so that his family can follow easily behind him.
That’s all I’ve got now. I’ll continue to stew on it.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I think you’re onto something here, Dwayne. I’d say that any understanding of gender roles that says that God made these roles BECAUSE of the typical qualities/characteristics each gender possesses is wrong-headed. The God who defined our roles as men and women is the same God who gave us these unique qualities. He didn’t see that men are generally less emotionally driven and thus say “well, I guess that means I need to make them the leaders”. Even men who are more emotionally-driven are called to lead, and women who may exhibit better decision-making skills than their husbands are called to submit.
That’s not to say that Scripture doesn’t call men and women to cultivate different attributes (to answer your last question). Implicit in the call for men to lead is a call to strength and courage. Implicit in the call for women to submit is a call for trust and meekness. Beyond implicit stuff like that, there are spots in Scripture like 1 Peter 3:4, which calls women to have a “gentle and quiet spirit” (where there’s no corresponding call for men to exhibit that same thing).
That said, all of these things can look different for different couples. God has gifted all men and women uniquely and differently, and he intends for us to use the gifts he’s given us in ways that glorify him. For instance, a woman who’s a better decision-maker than her husband can be a submissive wife WHILE using her superior decision-making skills! A man can go with the decisions of his wife while still being the head of his house! It’s not always as cut-and-dried as we’d like it to be.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Good thoughts Ray and nice catch on the “Why did God choose men” question. I knew someone would notice that. The follow up question is of course “Knowing that He was going to have men lead did he design (their soul that is) in a unique way for such a task. And same question geared to women. Then same follow up question “Where does the Bible say this?”
Thanks a lot for the implicit examples. That’s good stuff for me to meditate on. Funny you bring up 1 Peter 3:4 as I was just in there the other day. The “gentle” of that passage is the same word behind “meek” who are blessed in Matthew 5:5 and the “quite” of the passage is the same one that Paul tells all of us pray for in 1 Timothy 2:1-2.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Dwayne,
How’s that Mark Weathers book treating you?
I have a proposal for a joint series on this topic. It happens to be something I am wrestling through more than ever as I leave SGM to become an Anglican…please drop me an email. Thanks!
January 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I read the intro and first chapter and was floored, but my wife and I need to finish This Momentary Marriage first! I’ll get an email out.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Dwayne,
As one of those friends that you asked about this and spouted off characteristics that make men rule and women submit I feel a certain connection to this post, (the rest of the posts happen too often, you should slow it down so that your posts mean more, IMHO).
Husbands are to love their wives and wives are to submit to their husbands. We all know this and know how controversial this is in our day and age.
I would argue that when you ask your wife for her opinion on something, you’re asking her because you love her and you know that she wants what is best for not only herself but you and your kids. She (being a Christian) should submit to your decisions and your lead not because you are wiser but because God has appointed you over her as her head. When she submits to you she knows that you love her and want the best for her. The tough part is when you don’t want the best for her or your family and she is called to submit anyways as a sign of respect.
Not sure if that adds anything to the conversation. I do like what Jon said though. It’s interesting that you post on this now, I’m about to write a paper on why a man should be the main provider for his family, which deals with a lot of the same issues.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I forgot that you were one of those guys. :D
I totally agree about slowing down on posts.
What do you mean by “you’re asking her because you love her”? Are you saying that asking her for input is in and of itself loving, or are you saying that your motivation for asking her is out of love for her, or something else? Can you extrapolate on that just a bit?
January 30th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
As a fellow (but very female ;-) convinced complimentarian, I’d like to mention something that ought to be obvious (to which you may be alluding in your “Why Does This Matter?” section ;-): “Ain’t nobody right all the time,” male or female, so any husband who’s not a proud fool will at least consider his wife’s input with prayerful respect, recognizing that she just may be seeing something from a different and important perspective that he is missing, before making his final decision. Yes, she needs to offer her thoughts with a willingness to submit to his final authority to decide, and if he still disagrees, he needs to relate that in a humble manner, or look out for the fall… She was given to him by God to be his helper “meet for him”, in more ways than just for lovemaking, babies, and housework (and I read somewhere that the word there in Gen. for helper is used elsewhere in scripture to describe the Lord my Helper… so being a helper is nothing to be looked down upon…;-) Just my 2 pence…
January 31st, 2009 at 12:11 am
I’m saying that you ask for her opinion not only because you love her but that she has your best interest in mind and you acknowledge that by asking her opinion on decisions. If you were asking her opinion and thinking “poor woman” you would not be loving her as scripture commands us to do. savvy?
January 31st, 2009 at 1:36 pm
If God gave men and women with different “roles” because he made them to be spiritually different (in that only men are to lead and rule and women are to submit and be meek), then why did God in Genesis 1:26 say that both were given rule over God’s creation?
Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
Instead of God giving different tasks in the beginning, wouldn’t it be fair to say that God gave them equal rule and responsibility for creation, but in that equal rule, they could each have the freedom to rule in ways that fit their own special individual ways? IF this is the case, then we would be wise not to hold back the gifts that God has given, but encourage one another to use the gifts in a way that is beneficial to all so that there is balance. The gifts may not be different but the way the gifts are used allows us to have a balanced view.
Right now in some churches only women have the benefit of a balanced view. Women are able to be taught by both men and women. Women then are able to freely receive the best of both worlds. Women are able to receive the insights that are unique to each gender. Men on the other hand, in some churches are restricted to the views of male teachers only. If women are also restricted from sharing their biblical views in mixed bible studies, as some churches encourage women to be open in women’s study groups only, then in these churches men are kept from receiving all that God has for them. I find this very sad because the woman was made for the man. She was made for his need. I do not believe that her purpose was only physical. She shares insight in many areas that should be welcomed by men.
If men think that only males are allowed to exegete the scriptures, then they will look down on women’s insights because women’s views and insights are not needed. It is good to know that we are indeed needed and God planned it this way so that humanity will have balance and women provide that balance.
June 19th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Hello All,
I stumbled upon this thread because I was searching for a biblical basis for the Bar Mitzfah. Yes, I AM a Christian, but I’ve recently heard a couple of pastors send out a call to fathers to welcome their sons into manhood. Naturally, my thoughts turned to Bar Mitzfah, so I was trying to find a biblical foundation from which to proceed.
My basic thought on this subject is men are called to lead simply because God said so. God sometimes gives commandments without telling us His rationale. I don’t really need Him to tell me why (but more on this in a moment).
I think it’s important to point out, though, that God commands BOTH genders to submit to each other. On the subject of sex, we are told (I think by Paul) that when we marry, our body no longer belongs to us. In the strictest interpretation, my wife can not say “no” to me, NOR can I say “no” to her if one or the other wants to have sex. I don’t mean to be crass, I simply use that illustration to point out that men are called to be the head, but not to be a tyrant, or to disregard (for whatever reason) his wife’s input. I once heard someone say that the husband is the head, but the wife is the neck. The head can make the final decision, but the head can not even turn without the neck.
Besides, I think most people misunderstand or tend to downplay the act of submitting. It takes an incredible amount of internal strength to submit – particularly in a loving way. Yes, we all sort of submit to our boss and to certain other “authorities”, but mostly because we have no choice. Men, if you doubt how much strength of character and how much love is necessary to submit, you should try it yourself. Even just as an experiment. How does it make you feel? Can you even do it with a sense of love?
But I digress. In my case, my wife treats me as the head of the house for the most part. When I say “for the most part”, it’s mostly because she would like for me to be more active as such. (My wife has been a Christian for about 12 years, while I only became one about 2 years ago.) She may not always agree with me, and we may sometimes argue, but she shows me respect – sometimes more than I probably deserve.
I believe that because God said so – and ONLY because of that – men are to be the head of the house. This is actually a difficult thing for me to embrace, having grown up in the “men and women are equal” generation. I think the best way to describe it is to say, that men and women are equal, but different. Like some of you, I believe that each complements the other. We each have different strengths – both inherent in the gender, and also, as individuals.
There are some things that I’m better at, and some things that my wife is better at. She is a very intelligent woman and I would be stupid to not take that into account – especially if it’s an area that is not a particular strength for me.
I think the smartest thing to do, at least for me and my family, is what somebody else here said – I act as the head, but respect my wife’s views and input and, dare I say, perhaps even seek her counsel. I mean, seriously, if she smarter about a particular thing than I am, why would I WANT to disregard her opinion. That’s the height of ignorance and arrogance.